Much Ado About Eggplants

So the Access Bank Marathon held over the weekend and as usual the Kenyans came and defeated every Nigerian in sight to take home the star prizes.

Nevertheless i wasn’t mad about that.Its hard to compete with those guys in any long distance race.

The Grammy awards also held at the Staples center in Los Angeles and of course we know by now that Adele clinched the Album of the year ahead of Beyonce.

That was daylight robbery!!! But maybe, just maybe  Adele owning up to the fact that “Lemonade” deserved to win over “25” soothed my frayed nerves.

So guess what got Nigerians all hot and bothered?

Ebuka’s noticeable bulge while hosting the Big Brother Nigeria Eviction show Sunday night!

Now this got me mad.

He was sporting a Mai Atafo inspired White shirt with a royal blue waistcoat and pants. The shoes looked immaculate by the way.

However, his “little man” took the shine away from his hosting performance by choosing to swell like a Tyre pumped full of air.

Social media was agog.

Words like “oooh” , “aaaahh” , “cassava” and  “eggplant” were on every woman’s lips.

There was a small contingent of woman who were totally grossed out by the site of Ebuka’s monstrosity but i assure you, they were in the minority.

The big question on my mind was why are women folk so fascinated with the male anatomy.

Why does size matter?

The torso shape and size is by far the highest determinant of attractiveness among women. Penis size has as much influence on a mans attractiveness as  his height; a survey revealed.

So we can blame it on science. Good old science.

In all of this, My heart goes out to Mrs Obi – Uchendu.

I can imagine the looks she would be getting from her female companions.

Her secret is out.


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