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#RelationshipGoals with Parents

I’m the typical Daddy’s Girl….

Which one are you?!

How many of us can boast of a beautiful forever after mother-daughter or father-daughter relationship? For me growing up was a sweet and sour experience. As a girl that grew up with her dad, I had the best years ever as the “spoilt little daddy’s girl“. We had and still have the best relationship, he was and is still the total package of “famother”. I may have outgrown his laps but definitely not his heart, he loves, adores, and is always there to hug me; I got the hugging bug from him, I can hug the entire universe.

Growing up, I was the cynosure of all eyes back in my primary school. I was the neatest, most punctual, regular, homework and continuous assessment all on fleek! Oh, and the weekends with babami were like holidays; National Art Theater trips, going to the stadium, visiting some of his close friends and getting to play with their kids are all fond memories I cherish. He was always there and made sure I never lacked anything.

I remember when I had my first sign of puberty (breast growth). I said in my tiny voice and innocent facial expression “babami mo ti ni ewo meji (daddy I have two boils)” he was flabberwhelmed and overghasted at the same time, then gave me this stern look to be sure he heard me well and without hesitation he said to me, take this (ointment balm) rub it gently. Then he leaned forward and gave me this almighty hug. I looked straight into his eyes to be sure what the hug was for and saw something different. As young as I was, looking into his brown eyes, I could see the strength, confidence, love and a man thinking about getting a gun, shovel and a good lawyer because it just dawned on him that his little girl was becoming a lady!

My mum on the other was a gangster! Spatula, brooms, and eyin ku le owo (backhand slap) well all a part of her starter pack. She’s a total disciplinarian, mama no nonsense. Oftentimes, to escape her scolding, I ran back to babami’s house but then I always wanted to have a feel of both.

A young girl living with one half of her parents is like Ghana jollof rice, and I wanted to be a well-cooked firewood Nigerian jollof rice. I realized the importance of having both parents in a child’s life, most especially a girl child… Mothers are builders, first role models, first teachers and an essential part of every child’s developmental years!

If you do not fall into the motherdaughter or fatherdaughter goals categories due to your parents’ separation or whatever reason, it is never too late to start now, provided they are still alive.

No matter how sour your parents relationship must have affected or wired your thoughts or even your life choices; reconnecting, communicating, forgiving and letting go of those bitter memories is the best way to getting on the path of having the best relationship with your parents regardless of what was or what still is. Maybe in time you can be a point of reference for parent-child relationship goals.

I was able to push the bitter experiences I had with my mum so that I could get my parents to reconnect and eventually get back together because I realized, as I grew older, that having both parents was my own goal and I succeeded.

There’s so much more to not having a mutually cordial relationship with our folks, it could affect us emotionally, spiritually and even mentally! We shouldn’t be the grass where two elephants fight, it could leave long lasting marks in our lives.

Straight out the diary of a typical daddy’s girl….

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