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I Don’t Have a Bucket List, But My Fucket List is a Mile Long

It was one Saturday morning like that, everything wasn’t just feeling OK, I was in my mood and I couldn’t get my behind off the bed. Grin grin my phone beeps; Runtown’s Mad over You plays. Guess who was calling me? In my mind I was praying it wasn’t my mum because i had promised to see her than day but, in this mood i was in, that would suck right now, hell no! But guess who it was? Sisi! my bestie of laive!!!!
Sisi, as we call her, is one hell of a friend. We have been buddies since college, she is a very confident and spontaneous lady but is stern when it comes to making decisions concerning her career and success; she is keen on getting it right! I forgot to mention that Sisi is drop dead gorgeeeeeeous! killer curves, beautiful face and a fashion sense you can’t resist.
As I picked up the phone she said “hey babe, you know I don’t have a bucket list but my FUCKET list is a mile long!’ ! i paused, caught my breath and i replied her mumbling, trying not to mince my words “errmm errmm, Sisi please can you hecxplain ya sef?” she asked ‘are you home? in fact I’m on my way to your house!’ Thirty minutes later I was in my bed giggling with Sisi.
So apparently she had just met a guy from church, they got talking, hanging out and feelings started setting in. On one of their usual date nights,  boooooooom!!! Mr new guy asked.’Sisi darling, what is your BODY COUNT?’ Are you thinking what am thinking? He continued ‘erm you see, i just want to know ni, no strings attached, I have just been with 7 girls and now that we are together I think I should know so to be…” to be WHAT?!’ Sisi cut in; ‘to be what gangan i want to know? OK if you really wanna know  MY FUCKET LIST IS A MILE LONG’ and she walked out on him…
Mr Man biko who made you Genital Surveillance Calculator? I mean, I thought we left that act in 2016? Like seriously why should anyone ask such a lame question? To judge them or calculate how much f***s they’ve given? Personally, i think it’s inappropriate to ask someone how many people they have had sex with, it so rude and disrespectful. Must you know if Mr A has slept with 300 ladies or Miss Z has slept with 20 men BEFORE YOU CAN BE WITH THEM? It is not your place to ask.
Well if your partner chooses to let you into their past, that’s a different ball game but they are with you now which is the most important thing to focus ON. It’s 2017 guys, don’t ruin that beautiful chance with that new guy or girl just because you want to psychoanalyze them, let GOD be the judge!
Dwelling on body counts irrelevances ain’t the way to go!. And to all the  OVARIES watchers, monitors and calculators sttttttoooooooopeeet!
Share your thoughts on this guys!

1 thought on “I Don’t Have a Bucket List, But My Fucket List is a Mile Long”

  1. Worth reading 👍🏽 It’s nobody’s business because we all have things we never want to talk about or remember. Life is a moving train so hey! Don’t dwell on anyone’s past.

    Liked by 1 person

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