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Genital Equality

In case you didn’t already know…this is the 21st century ladies and gentlemen. Social media has swept everyone off their feet. Banter, memes and emojis are the latest and slayest (I think I just invented a word) ways to communicate. Chants of gender equality (a.k.a feminism) reign supreme and the LGBT community has come out full frontal. I can go on and on and on…and on, but I’ll put a cap on it here.

On this matter of equality, it has been left out of one very important area…The Bedroom *insert dramatic tune*. Just the other day, I was at the ultimate pepper soup joint in the whole of Lagos state with a few friends and this sex matter came up, especially oral sex. To my bewilderment, the ladies who were chanting about being fair suddenly started laying down rules and conditions. “Well, if his foreplay was good, I can consider it”…and I’m just there thinking biko, are you doing me a favor?! Is it not an act that both of us will enjoy?!
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I pride myself in being a liberal but it upsets me when ladies; and anyone in general, feel they have the right to make the rules on bedroom matters. When asked if they liked head, there was no hesitation in them giving their response. “YES!!!” they chanted…almost like they were about to orgasm. Then what about the reverse, “No I don’t like sucking a guy’s d**k”. I was stunned. “Why not?” I curiously asked. “I don’t know…it just makes me feel dirty”. I was perplexed, astounded and dumbfounded all at the same time. Please why didn’t you feel dirty when he was sucking you down there like a janitor. Now, it’s time to reciprocate, you’re feeling dirty. Nne park well jor! Well, the legendary Fela already said “Lady na master”.

Gentlemen…lords…men, I no forget una. Selfishness is not gender specific. To all those guys that will sit down like kings and give them girls lollipops and when it’s time to return the favor, you postpone or just go deaf. The thunder that will strike you is still doing press up (I know, I know…cliché).

We live in an age where everything is at our finger tips (like literally…thanks to smartphones). If it’s the fact that you don’t know how to…ask the oracle (a.k.a Google).  If he/she ain’t doing it right, help them…tell them how you like it. If he’s too big and it hurts when you do it, learn new techniques. If he/she smells, let them shower first abeg. Don’t be selfish. If we can talk about equal pay for all genders, please let’s also advocate for equal pleasures. Do me, I do you…scratch my back, I scratch yours *wink…wink*. A couple that orgasms together stays together.
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Stop the discrimination and segregation. Let’s be the generation that breaks the genital injustice. EQUALITY FOR ALL GENITALS!!!

 

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