Relationships, friendships, work, fun, everything in life is reliant on human bonds. These bonds are created and forged through communication. Communication is however sustained through interest and/or attraction. In fact, the easiest way to know where you stand in your friendship, relationship (or situation-ship as it happens to be these days), etc. is by taking note of how those people communicate with you.

I realized yesterday that Nigerians believe it is one person’s sole responsibility to keep the communication going be it in a friendship or relationship. You meet a new friend, you talk so frequently with that person for the first three months, work suddenly becomes very time-consuming, you lose touch for a month and when you’re finally able to reach out, that’s when the problem rears its head. Imagine these scenarios:

*insert dial tone* You: “how far?”
Friend: “Sho! This one wey you remember me today, wetin happen?”

Or the famous one
*insert dial tone* You: “how far?”
Friend: “I dey o. You just forget your guy, e no good o””

At this point, my mind literally screams; MOGBE!!! Oga, please explain to me what happened to your phone? Is there no contact list on it anymore? Or you don’t have the dial button? See me see trouble o.

Anyways, back to yesterday’s scenario. So I’ve had a crush on my cousin’s friend for as long as I can remember (mid 2013 to be precise). I asked my cousin about her (as a sharp guy) and got the necessary information. At the time, she was just getting out of a relationship and wasn’t ready for another that soon. I respected that and tried to keep up tabs with her every once in a while; you know the usual “I like you” convos. All of a sudden, my messages were not getting responses and communication stopped for like a year. Then came 2016 and communication kicked off again. SPLENDID!!! We hung out a few times and things were going well. Then 2017 kicked off and the regular “New year, New Me” banter began. She then told (more like instructed) me to keep in touch because 2017 was the year she’ll be cutting people off. And not keeping in touch seems to be the major criteria for her to do just that.

January, I tried and was able to successfully do that (despite being very very terrible at keeping in touch). Then came the hellish month of February. Workload went up by 1000%. Social life went down to 0% (even social media felt my absence). We managed to fend off all the guerilla attacks and keep our sanity after a long three weeks. Then I hit her up and she said I have been demoted to the rank of Former Crush. “I have failed” or so I thought to myself. Aunty please watappen?! The reason was simple…“You didn’t check up on me since”. Nkwa…did I sign a contract stating that I will not do any other thing in my life than check up on you? Why didn’t you bother to find out if everything was okay if I was important to you as well? Why am I the one at fault? Just three weeks and I’ve already been demoted.  Shouldn’t the axe swing both ways? Lol…this is probably God telling me to look somewhere else.
Moving on, communication has been made so much easier since the invention of mobile phones and the recent boost in the popularity of social media. So why is it still one person’s duty to ensure proper communication with the other party?  This is one question I think the science community needs to provide an answer to.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s