I LOVE love! I love being in it, I love seeing it but I don’t necessarily love people putting it up for display.
Today, it feels like the only way to prove you love someone is by showing the world you love the person. Err why? I honestly don’t get it, why do people seeing the ‘love’ validate the love you share with your partner?
Most people have certain moments in their lives they want to be memorable because chances are, they’ll only get to experience it once. Being proposed to, or proposing to someone is one of these moments.
I’m of the opinion that the real proposal happens wayyyyyyy before a ring or going down on one knee, if that’s your style. It happens in moments and conversations where you guys mutually agree and deeply feel that this is ‘the one’ person you want to spend the rest of your life with. So the proposal with a ring is just a confirmation of those moments or conversations. It’s not a surprise, or at least it shouldn’t be a surprise.
It wasn’t a matter of if, it was a matter of when.
I’m of the opinion that the best proposals are intimate and private moments shared by the couple. Yes, tears might be shed and the element of surprise can still exist (the thoughtful planning and unexpected twist of event) but most importantly the commitment to one another has been mutually affirmed.
You see, I believe that public proposals have the tendency to taint the moment. Because people are there, there’s a subconscious effort to put up a show; over dramatic tears, fainting, the ‘OMG I never expected this’ (BITCH stop it! what road did you think you guys were on?) and the many YES that should have been NO, MAYBE or NOT RIGHT NOW.
I think some men intentionally go with public proposals because they fear rejection and then unfortunately the woman is too ‘nice’ to turn him down in front of many people.
Don’t get me wrong, I know some people have a preference for grand expressions of love and prefer public proposals and that’s OKAY. However, you need to know your partner and understand their preferences and plan accordingly. Also, propose only when you’re sure the person is on the same page, this is not a time to assume shit!
So if you get proposed to, privately or publicly….
Say it with your chest, even if your answer is NO!