There’s this Yoruba saying that translates to ’20 friends can’t play together for 20 years’.
Unfortunately there’s a lot of truth in that! In your teens you make some amazing friendships and the goal is to be friends forever because you feel like you guys have been through so much together and a lot of times, life just happens. People literally just drift apart, geographically or ‘communication-ally’, nothing significant really causing the separation.
It’s sad when it’s with people you considered like best friends, people you literally spoke to everyday for many years! talking about everything and nothing and then suddenly you realize you have barely spoken to the person in 6 months; and that’s fine because you know, life just happened nothing messed up the friendship.
Here’s the thing though, there are friends who you don’t have to speak to every time, you literally just pick up wherever you left off the last time you spoke or saw each other, after weeks, months or even years! The beauty of this type of friendship is that you both know what it is; love it the way it is and have true love for each other! Even in the moments when you guys aren’t talking, deep down you consider the person a true friend!
However, there are cases where a real separation occurs, even when you see the person, you don’t really talk like before, it doesn’t come as natural; honestly, it almost feels like you’re just keeping up appearances. Of course the love and care is still there but the relationship has just broken down somewhere; maybe difference in values, life experiences, I really don’t know menh somewhere down the line you guys somehow grew apart and there’s no one to blame.
And so you guys have conversations about the distance, plan to put in the necessary effort to get things back to the way it was; you know make the friendship a priority like it was before. But then if you’re being honest with yourself, you don’t really miss the friendship, you just miss the idea of the friendship and even the effort you put in is really as a result of the past not necessarily because you think it’s going to make a big difference in the future.
I really wish we could prove that saying wrong and we could be close friends for life as we dreamed in our teens but I feel like it might be too late. So till something changes I guess I’ll just keep keeping up appearances.