Kaido vs The World: Episode 1

*in Charlie Puth’s voice* it’s been a long week, I can’t even lie. And I don’t know where I’ll start from on this episode *song end*. Remix by yours truly. Honestly though, I don’t even know where to begin. It’s been a LOONNNGGGG 7 days. I didn’t even know it was possible for a week to feel this long. New experiences all around. It’s gonna be a long one, so grab your popcorn or drink or anything and read on. Are you ready for this?

So, Monday the 5th of this beautiful month was the President’s birthday and it was declared a public holiday. I expected all malls, restaurants, supermarkets, etc. to be opened but what a wake-up call I received. First the trials began with getting a taxi. After a 2 hour attempt to get a taxi, I began to wonder why I never took my French classes seriously. I was hungry, tired from standing. In fact I probably started hallucinating. It seemed like the world was winning this round. But the black man blood in me said “No, world. We gon’ die on the finish line today”. Change of strategy.

The hotel my MD stayed initially before our arrival was just a 2 minute walk from the bus stop I was at. I walked back and spoke with one of the staff that we had befriended. We talked and she said she knew someone she could call. He drove us down to the supermarket and that was when the world landed a blow as heavy as Anthony Joshua’s. The supermarket, the bakery and the mall across the street were closed. “I’m fucked” I thought to myself. We asked the guy if there was any Chinese restaurant around and he said he knew one. We arrived there and they were open. The tides had turned. The world was in for a comeback. We ate and were even given access to their Wi-Fi. It felt so good. I ate like a hungry lion and even ordered another plate for takeout and had a lovely meal before I slept off.
ROUND 1 WINNER: Kaido!!!

Tuesday came along. And it was time to work. Agreed time was 9:30, so we got there at 9. Had a brief meeting with the team of wonderful people we would be working with and decided how we were gonna go around in teams. We set out at 10 AM and stopped by two potential clients. Then another rude awakening. After visiting both and having a back and forth, it was 12 PM and the lady in my team says “we’re going back to the office. It’s our break time”. Oh how nice. They take their break seriously here. We headed back to the office and that was when we discovered their break was 4 hours long. 2 hours lunch, another 2 for siesta. What did we think we could accomplish waiting four hours and then going back to work? It didn’t make sense. So we headed to the hotel we were lodged and called it a day. What a turn of events.

It’s Wednesday and we had agreed we weren’t gonna do shit cause there some errors and disagreements during the outing. So we stayed in, gisted and took a walk later. We didn’t need to rush out for food as we had bought some old stuff the day before. During this walk with my teammates, I came to a realization. The ladies here have some very sexy booties…and I mean very. Very voluptuous and full. Well rounded and balanced in softness (I’m not sure of this though). Do not come here alone as a married man. You will fail in being faithful. I promise. Gist and laughs. Beautiful asses. Definitely a fun day.
ROUND 3 WINNER: Kaido!!!

Hello Thursday. It was definitely gonna be a good day. Our MD was back from her trip home and she had brought some food stuff from home. Score. She arrived in the early hours of the morning so we headed to our hotel and slept. At about 9 AM, we thought we were gonna have some work…but she went apartment hunting. When she was done, it was end of day but the result of that hunt was amazing. She had found this sexy 3 bedroom apartment that was already furnished. A modern chandelier hung from the ceiling in the living room and the kitchen was furnished with a marble top. The rooms were spacious and each had an AC. A 42 inch TV, center table, dining table and a chill table in the balcony. Let’s just call the day a success. Thank you MD.
ROUND 4 WINNER: Kaido!!!

Friday, is that you? I knew nothing was gonna happen but I headed to work. We had a meeting and brushed up on some of the parts that were unclear. We were done at 11:30 and decided to head home. But the weekend was just beginning. After going shopping for some food items and having some repairs done in the house, we headed out to eat. Boy were we in for a joyful outing. We met up with some other Nigerians that were also here on business and headed down to a Buka. Yes you read that right…A FUCKING BUKA!!! We had a feast…naija style. I had Eba with Okro garnished with 2 beef, 1 shaki, 2 pomo and a cold bottle of water. My teammates had Amala with ewedu garnished with different pieces of meat. We also bought some specially cooked jollof rice to take home. We were so full and heavy, we waited another 30 minutes before we could leave. What a good day. Oh and by the way…this was still on Friday. I dealt the world an unexpected blow.
ROUND 5 WINNER: Kaido!!!

After an intense 5 rounds; pun intended *wink, wink*, it ends with the Kaido winning four rounds and the world winning one. Perhaps he will conquer faster than he thought. That’s all folks. Hope you look forward to episode 2 as much as I do. Kaido out!


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