I just had an epiphany guys! I think I may have unearthed Nigeria’s problems. Like a scientist, I have made a discovery like no other. A discovery that will rival the invention of any vaccine in the history of mankind!
THE SPIRIT OF FAAJI IS THE ROOT OF ALL OF NIGERIA’S PROBLEMS!!
Yes! You just read that and to eliminate any doubts, I wrote that in caps and bold letters.
See Ehn, most Nigerians have this spirit but we must agree that some are more driven by this spirit compared to others. Don’t laugh oh! I’m being very serious here!
The need to floss, stunt or turn up in whatever form drives us all and believe me, just like every thing on this Earth, there are levels to this shit! Some are able to contain this spirit and some are so possessed by it they need an exorcist!
Trust me, you can trace it from our Ogas in politics, to the corporate robber inflating purchasing orders or even your favorite neighborhood kidnapper, to the feared bank robber and even the “Yahoo Yahoo” boy typing vigorously on his laptop right this moment.
Remember that famous bank robbery that happened in Owerri- Imo state a few weeks ago? He was caught at his father’s burial ceremony. You can bet it was as lavish as can be. Dammy Krane nko? Flying private up and down (Mscheeeeew). What of Mr “I have repented from being a kidnapper” Evans? Houses in every major city and even in Ghana. Don’t get me started with the politicians who give “Thanks for coming” up to 500,000 thousand Naira to random girls for a good night.
To a lesser extent, the student telling lies through his teeth about school fees, who doesn’t want to use the extra cash to buy more books, na bruh, it’s for Faaji guys. What of your co-worker that’s in finance inflating invoices in cahoots with suppliers? Most likely to get a new car or some new luxury item.
So beloved, the solution is simple we have to hold a nationwide inter-denominational prayer session.
This Faaji Spirit has to go guys. It has to go!
Fire Fire Fire Fire!!