Rigors Of The Online Dating Game

Dating is stress guys. Absolutely stress. Especially if you have a tough schedule. Picking the right partner who is not a witch or demon in disguise is the toughest thing ever.

Where and how people go about finding is not science so people try all sorts.

So I overheard a few people talking about Tinder app for Nigeria and thought to myself “It would be nice to check out all these dating sites and dating trends on all these social media pages. Trust me when I say this….It was like going into a huge rabbit hole.

Things are happening guys!!!

So I actually went and created profiles on a few dating sites under the pseudo name , (Please don’t laugh) “MickyBlueyes” (This investigative journalism mode that has taken over me won’t be the death of me I swear).

So here is the rundown.

1. Tinder

Beloved please if you happen to be looking for love please read this carefully , DO NOT GO ON TINDER! That place is not for the faint-hearted . Tinder is for sex like Uber is for transport.You swipe on a girl and her going fee is about Thirty Thousand (N30,000) for a night. Thirty Thousand? Maybe I’m a cheapskate but do you know how many internet monthly subscriptions that will get me?? It’s even more treacherous for girls because before you know  it the men you meet on there are asking for sex of the bat and sending you penis pictures. Everyone is brazen there. Not the way the app was intended to be used I’m sure but you know how Nigeria warps everything.

2. Mingle 2

Mingle 2 was a less scarring experience. But the first thing that hit me was the disclaimer as I was trying to sign up the app. ” DO NOT SEND MONEY TO ANY PERSON FOR ANY REASON . MINGLE 2 WILL NOT BE LIABLE FOR ANY FRAUD CASES THAT TRANSPIRE ON THE SITE”.  I guess a lot of guys and women have used the app to dupe women and men. But there were a lot of Nigerians there of all ages.I did a targeted search and looked for “women in Lagos  between the ages of 20 – 40” which yielded lots of results. Interesting stuff. Fortunately I didn’t stay long enough to strike conversations with anybody but Mingle was less Tinder-esque.

3. Badoo

Similar name with the cult that is currently ravaging Ikorodu but this is certainly not their dating site. Apparently Badoo has been around for a much longer time.However , it seems like it used to be the go to dating site for the much younger people. I cannot confirm whether its still a popular place to go to and i din’t have enough time to do exhaustive research but it was pretty popular some years back.

4. Insta Message / Twitter /LINKED IN / Facebook / Instagram :

I grouped all these social media apps together for a reason. We all know they weren’t traditionally designed for dating but that hasn’t stopped anybody has it? People are shooting their shot on a daily basis in all those places beloved! Its an amazing dating pool. It will shock you how many men and women are messaging each other even on Linked In. Yes Linked In! Linked In is unique because people are most likely to surrender their actual information on there. So you immediately know what you are getting in terms of social status , education and looks. Amazing stuff !! So while your looking for potential employees there are men that are looking for their mates on there. Twitter nko? Lets not be naive guys  , the number of marriages and relationships and sex that goes on there that comes out in the open is good enough indication to show whats going on in secret.  Facebook is the same thing also. People message everybody looking for a potential mate. Insta message and Instagram is the same. At least now we know why people are stunting for the Gram.

I could go on and on guys.

The thing is that looking for love online is only going to increase. Interaction in this decade will continue to increase online and decrease offline

All I can say is look and look again before you leap. Try not to be catfished , defrauded or even raped. There are lots of pervs and predators on there. But there are success stories don’t get me wrong. Lots of happy endings.

Like everything in life there are two sides to every coin.

 

Hey guys. Have you gone on a dating site before?  What was your experience like? Hit us up in the comments section lets find out the ones we missed on this post. 

 

 

Respect The Jazz

There I was, on a beautiful Thursday afternoon, chilling with some chilled glass of juice while feasting on peppered shrimps and fries; made by yours truly, when I got a notification from our very own OG. He had just posted an article he knew will pique my interest…a post relating to BLACK MAGIC; not the musician though! I just had to drop a short response. Gentleman, shall we? *strikes Elijah pose*

So OG went on a rant about how he can’t understand why Nigerians make an effort to hide the fact that they are carrying out certain actions from people. What can you do when you live in a society where the hearts of most are as black as their skin?  It sounds crazy but when majority of people are screaming about something, that kinda hints at the possibility of it’s existence. Even religiously, we are warned of the powers that be. If that’s not reason enough, I wonder what is.

Now bear in mind that I’m not particularly a religious type of person. I think religion is a man-made system made to brainwash people. But from family relations I came to understand that black magic; aka juju, is indeed real. Recently, I had a discussion with a colleague earlier this month and this topic came up. She then shared a gut wrenching childhood experience she had when she visited her father’s uncle.

Sitting pretty in the corner of the living room was a Coca-Cola bottle. Being a curious child she went to get the bottle and in it she could see a man trapped in it and desperately attempting to be free of his bondage. Her father immediately snatched the bottle from her hand and was telling her off when his uncle came and explained that the poor chap had hurt one of their children and thought he could escape so they thought to teach him a lesson.

Then there’s my extended family. My great aunt, according to my mother and her siblings, is the top dog in their realm in the whole of the region they grew up in. Ofcus it sounds made up but when you hear 11 siblings sharing the exact same story, the possibility of it being a lie disappears. Then I had the chance to meet her the day she attended a church service during a family gig. Confused and utterly shocked, I wondered how that was possible and like a mind reader she stated boldly how the pastor had come to them for powers and blessings. I was dazed at her confidence, which if I might add was beyond contesting.

The life we live in is quite fickle. They say experience is the best teacher but the experience doesn’t have to be yours, does it? I hope y’all who’ve never experienced black magic never do, so your perception never changes your faith.

And on that note ladies and gentlemen, this banter is done. Kaido out!

Kaido vs The World: Episode 1

*in Charlie Puth’s voice* it’s been a long week, I can’t even lie. And I don’t know where I’ll start from on this episode *song end*. Remix by yours truly. Honestly though, I don’t even know where to begin. It’s been a LOONNNGGGG 7 days. I didn’t even know it was possible for a week to feel this long. New experiences all around. It’s gonna be a long one, so grab your popcorn or drink or anything and read on. Are you ready for this?

Continue reading “Kaido vs The World: Episode 1”

When Our Heroes Become Human

This is a tough subject matter for me guys. When I discuss my parents, it’s always a nostalgic mix of pain and joy. But no matter what,  I gotta do this for the culture.

So, I was going through some old pictures of my parents, my dad especially, and memories came flooding in waves. I started with the earlier pictures of when he was a young strapping gentleman with so much vigor.

I progressed further down the pile of photos and one picture stopped me in my tracks. This was my dad twenty years older at my mothers burial looking like a broken man.

This, my friends, was the exact moment that my father was demystified in my eyes. So, here was a man that occupied absolute god-like status in my eyes, weeping profusely like a little child. There were times as a kid I couldn’t look the man in the eyes out of fear. It was incredibly difficult to see a man who always oozed strength in such a vulnerable position. It was only went downhill from then on people, and like an onion bulb King Oguh unraveled.

But that essentially is life. To be honest, I feel that children are supposed to view their parents through innocent eyes and in such reverence till they are matured enough to look at their parents objectively when these vulnerabilities start to show. Because when you start to see the flaws, you can’t un-see them.

Same way I feel the need to believe in “Father Christmas”, “The Boogeyman” or even the “The Innocence of the World” until its time the rip the band-aid off.

Everybody has to see their their parents become human. I think it makes us appreciate them more  because only humans can raise humans.

So guys lets talk, what moment in your life did the veil fall from your eyes and your heroes became human? I’ll tweet the most interesting posts in the comment section.

Damaged: Chapter 5

I was too weak to walk alone. The death of my daughter had drained me off any energy I had left. Memories began to flash through my mind. I could see her running round the house laughing. Oh, how beautiful her smile was. I will never have the chance to tell her what she meant to me. These flashes and thoughts brought about another burst of tears that brought me to the ground in the parking lot. “My baby. Why my baby?” I said with a soft voice as I cried deeply. “She’s in a better place baby” my husband said as he helped me up again and into the car.

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Damaged: Chapter 4

Two weeks have passed since that fight. Since I abused my husband. Since I made that mistake. All text messages and calls had gone unanswered. I had no idea where he was. I felt so miserable. And every time I held my daughter I said to her “Daddy will be home soon”. Did she understand me? No. But I said this with hopes that my mistake hadn’t chased my husband from me. I want him back so bad. I sent one last text before I slept. I apologised deeply and pleaded for him to return. I hoped pouring my heart out might soften his heart. I overreacted.

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Damaged: Chapter 3

If there was one person I knew I could call it was my oldest and closest friend, Kunbi. “Hello Kunbi, please I need your help” I desperately begged. Sounding surprised, she replied “Na wa o. No hello? You’re rude sha” she jested. Noticing the serious gravity of the situation, she asked “What’s wrong my dear?”. “It’s my husband” I replied. “I think he’s seeing that his Ibo ex”. “What?!” she exclaimed. “How did you come about this information?” she asked hoping I hadn’t heard it from someone else. I went on to tell her about the fateful encounter and requested her to help me send someone to follow my husband and watch what happens. Continue reading “Damaged: Chapter 3”

Damaged: Chapter 2

Our daughter was with my mother for the weekend. It was Tola and Ayo time. No midnight cravings or cries. Just us two for the first time in months. We had great day planned out and I am certain we both were looking forward to it. We headed to the mall, did a bit of shopping, ate and saw a couple of movies. Then she appeared. The lady I believed was probably the “other woman”. We had just paid for our parking space and were about to leave when we both heard “Oh my God! Tola Adekoya. I can’t believe it”.

Continue reading “Damaged: Chapter 2”