Rigors Of The Online Dating Game

Dating is stress guys. Absolutely stress. Especially if you have a tough schedule. Picking the right partner who is not a witch or demon in disguise is the toughest thing ever.

Where and how people go about finding is not science so people try all sorts.

So I overheard a few people talking about Tinder app for Nigeria and thought to myself “It would be nice to check out all these dating sites and dating trends on all these social media pages. Trust me when I say this….It was like going into a huge rabbit hole.

Things are happening guys!!!

So I actually went and created profiles on a few dating sites under the pseudo name , (Please don’t laugh) “MickyBlueyes” (This investigative journalism mode that has taken over me won’t be the death of me I swear).

So here is the rundown.

1. Tinder

Beloved please if you happen to be looking for love please read this carefully , DO NOT GO ON TINDER! That place is not for the faint-hearted . Tinder is for sex like Uber is for transport.You swipe on a girl and her going fee is about Thirty Thousand (N30,000) for a night. Thirty Thousand? Maybe I’m a cheapskate but do you know how many internet monthly subscriptions that will get me?? It’s even more treacherous for girls because before you know  it the men you meet on there are asking for sex of the bat and sending you penis pictures. Everyone is brazen there. Not the way the app was intended to be used I’m sure but you know how Nigeria warps everything.

2. Mingle 2

Mingle 2 was a less scarring experience. But the first thing that hit me was the disclaimer as I was trying to sign up the app. ” DO NOT SEND MONEY TO ANY PERSON FOR ANY REASON . MINGLE 2 WILL NOT BE LIABLE FOR ANY FRAUD CASES THAT TRANSPIRE ON THE SITE”.  I guess a lot of guys and women have used the app to dupe women and men. But there were a lot of Nigerians there of all ages.I did a targeted search and looked for “women in Lagos  between the ages of 20 – 40” which yielded lots of results. Interesting stuff. Fortunately I didn’t stay long enough to strike conversations with anybody but Mingle was less Tinder-esque.

3. Badoo

Similar name with the cult that is currently ravaging Ikorodu but this is certainly not their dating site. Apparently Badoo has been around for a much longer time.However , it seems like it used to be the go to dating site for the much younger people. I cannot confirm whether its still a popular place to go to and i din’t have enough time to do exhaustive research but it was pretty popular some years back.

4. Insta Message / Twitter /LINKED IN / Facebook / Instagram :

I grouped all these social media apps together for a reason. We all know they weren’t traditionally designed for dating but that hasn’t stopped anybody has it? People are shooting their shot on a daily basis in all those places beloved! Its an amazing dating pool. It will shock you how many men and women are messaging each other even on Linked In. Yes Linked In! Linked In is unique because people are most likely to surrender their actual information on there. So you immediately know what you are getting in terms of social status , education and looks. Amazing stuff !! So while your looking for potential employees there are men that are looking for their mates on there. Twitter nko? Lets not be naive guys  , the number of marriages and relationships and sex that goes on there that comes out in the open is good enough indication to show whats going on in secret.  Facebook is the same thing also. People message everybody looking for a potential mate. Insta message and Instagram is the same. At least now we know why people are stunting for the Gram.

I could go on and on guys.

The thing is that looking for love online is only going to increase. Interaction in this decade will continue to increase online and decrease offline

All I can say is look and look again before you leap. Try not to be catfished , defrauded or even raped. There are lots of pervs and predators on there. But there are success stories don’t get me wrong. Lots of happy endings.

Like everything in life there are two sides to every coin.

 

Hey guys. Have you gone on a dating site before?  What was your experience like? Hit us up in the comments section lets find out the ones we missed on this post. 

 

 

OTW (Archives): Forwarded As Received

Remember BBM? Remember how broadcasts messages seemed to be some sort of taboo on that redundant app? Well with Whatsapp it seems to be okay.

Here’s the kicker. It seems to have become the foremost form of information dissemination among a lot of Nigerians.  Sad thing is that there is no surefire way of sifting through the untruths  and people just post it regardless with the magic words “Forwarded As Received”  tucked right under the long epistle. It’s amazing how you can start some sort of propaganda or even start nationwide panic through these Broadcast messages.

So I took the liberty to divide your Whatsapp contacts who broadcast into five categories.

  1. The Whatsapp Comedians

The jokes whether funny or dry are accompanied with a “Laugh with me I cannot laugh alone“. Sometimes I ask myself what if i don’t feel like laughing with you at this moment?

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2. The Alarmists

Where do i start from in this category. What have I not seen? from the broadcast messages saying Boko Haram has infiltrated Lagos  and is currently selling poisonous apples with the intention of wiping out everyone or some other ridiculous concoction.  I could go on but I don’t have the space.. But on a serious note. I think this category can do the most damage or the most good. Sadly there is no way to verify the authenticity of these messages.

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3. The Social and Political Commentators

The messages in this category usually start with “Nigeria I hail thee” . If the people in this category channeled  the energy expended forwarding all those messages to voting…Nigeria would probably be a better nation by now.

4. The Whatsapp Evangelists and Motivational speakers

This would have been a somewhat harmless category if not for the obnoxious set of people that threaten you with the “Forward to seven people and something good will happen to you in seven minutes”  messages.

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5. The “Forward To Someone You Love” category

Forward to 10 People that you love today. This group of Whatsapp usually try to guilt trip you to forwarding what you received.  A good question to ask would be… if I don’t forward this message does it mean I don’t love you?

Unfortunately we have parents and relatives who belong to all these categories so blocking would be futile. So I guess all we can do going forward is to sieve whatever information you receive laugh at the funny jokes and keep it moving.

Its Clap Back Season People!

How Nigerian celebrities live their lives don’t really matter much to me to be honest.

But I’ve been so shocked with what has been happening recently guys. The level of savagery I see on social media nowadays is unprecedented.They have taken those gloves off!

So here I was scrolling on my social media handles like a law abiding citizen that I am and then I come across a conversation between D-Banj and some unfortunate individual on the Trailer Jam handle.

Baba even used the same trailer to jam Don Jazzy . I laughed so hard I almost fell off my chair. What made happy go lucky D-Banj descend to this level of savagery??

I wasn’t done guys. So since I’m still on the trailer jam timeline I do some digging. Possibly I could see some more interesting stuff and Oh boy! I sure did!

I give you Exhibit B. Frank Edoho and Poor Stephen aka The rubber band man  .

So harsh bro. Damn.


I’m wondering guys. Why are the gloves off? Why has 2017 become clap back season? These celebrities would usually ignore the pesky comments from the social media troublemakers but not this year . They are all on a warpath.Why so? Is it the recession ?

Beloved.  I don’t have the answers but I suggest one thing. Stay on your lane people. Life would be a much peaceful and easier place.

E go be.

OTW (Archives) -Virtual Offices, The New Norm

Virtual offices are an absolute gift for entrepreneurs and small businesses.

It’s an absolute huge thing in Lagos now, and the funny thing is that i did not realize  how big it was until recently. I had the need to work away from my traditional work space and I had a virtual office epiphany.

I knew a friend that ran one and I thought i’d hit him up to have the virtual experience. A phone call later, here I was driving to the virtual office space with just my Laptop and my Internet modem in hand.

The experience was amazing. The atmosphere was buzzing as I counted at least six business entities in the building.

The fact that most of the businesses in the virtual office space were in the same kind of industry, you can imagine how much collaboration that goes on in there.

I know a few years ago virtual offices were hard to find but I think as I write this. Lagos is awash with virtual offices.This is good news for SME’s. fantastic news in fact.

The economy needs small business  to thrive. Its no news that the cost for setting up a business when asset acquisition is factored in is astronomical. To add insult to injury, running costs are also a huge problem. Since Fashola has not figured out how to chase the power demons away for us to have constant power supply, virtual office solutions are the way to go.

Nigeria’s Silicon Valley has already started blazing the trail for co-working spaces; CC Hub, Crea8 Space and Idea Hub, have sheltered to full time idea incubation centers that give opportunities, resources and training to future startups.

It’s no wonder our local IT start ups come across as the most forward thinkers.

Lagos is now virtual my people, get with the program.

First World Problems

*steps on stage and picks mic* My people!!! Watdeyhappen? Been a minute innit? So, who missed me? Anybody? *insert cricket sound*. Damn…cold crowd!

Anyways, today’s rant addresses my fascination with First World madness. Where do I begin? Is it the gender identifications? Or maybe the crazy thrill seeking adventures. Perhaps the insane demands made when divorce happens. The list is just endless. I think I’m low-key starting to love the fact that Nigeria is a Third World country. Why?

Continue reading “First World Problems”

Social Media and Slander 

Social media is a crazy place Yo! Now, I really understand why people love to keep some sort of anonymity online (Shout out to B!).

Beloved, people get “dragged” on a daily I tell you. Especially on Twitter! The crazy thing is that everybody is fair game, no matter what clique you are in, or what social standing you belong to.There are no sacred cows!

Gone are the good old days when people sorted out their problems in person like normal human beings. Everything is so open online and everybody is so nasty.

The moment you get into some sort of scandal or some sort of Twitfight that’s when you will know that your followers are not your friends. Just like spectators at a coliseum, they will be baying for your blood and shouting Kill! Kill! Kill!

To be honest, nowadays when I pray every morning, I’ve added one more prayer point “Dear God, May I never be a trending hashtag for the wrong reasons” I remember Fat Joe saying in some Breakfast Club interview that his greatest fear was being a Meme (Lol). I can totally relate! Those memes can kill somebori.

Nevertheless, there are a lot of good stories on social media. I’ve seen people start Gofundme accounts and raise huge amounts of money for good causes.I have seen Medical bills and school fees paid. I have seen people get jobs and businesses blossom off social media. I have seen people find love too.

So just like in real life, humanity shows its worst and best forms on social media.

So I guess social media is a necessity. So what are the rules for engagement? For me I feel there is only one rule. Just be a good human being and be careful who you get close with on social media.

The rest is up to God.

 

 

Creeping Internet

90s baby but I don’t fuck with 90s internet

Being in Nigeria, a 3rd world country, with 1st world dreams but 4th world infrastructure! Is the absolute worst…

There are so many times, that just being in this country frustrates you! I once saw a tweet that said something to the extent of, Nigerians don’t deserve to go to hell as we are already living in it; so we should get a free pass to heaven. On days like this, I can’t but agree!

Continue reading “Creeping Internet”