The Theory Of Body Count Management

Ladies and gentlemen gather round we have important things to discuss.

Anybody heard about body count management?  Anybody ? I’m sure most guys will be clueless about this ( as always) and I know some of you women have discussed this and implemented this consciously or unconsciously.

Okay chill out , let me give you a definition.

Body count management  is the intricate process of keeping a small number of men on a regular sexual rotation . This is usually done to reduce the number of sexual partners to a small and concise number

There you go.

First of all I want to blame men for this. Y’all kiss and tell too damn much!  This is the same reason why sex toys are in high demand (All the pleasure and none of the hassle and gossip) I never understand why a grown man will have consensual sex with a woman and go to the high heavens to brag about it. Why on earth??

This is patriarchal society in play again.

Woman sleeps with ten guys and she is a hoe , while a man sleeps with the same number and he is a stud.


Back to the women though. I must applaud y’all for coming up with this. I mean this is elite thinking from y’all. Trust women to always be evolved and a step ahead of both genders.

So I hear single women get three or two guys they are comfortable with and stick to them when they want to have sex. Its like a sex rooster. So guys ,  when you feel she is coming back to you because your laying amazing pipe. I have sad news for you , your sex is not that great. She is managing her body count.  It’s an amazing concept to be honest.  Certainly a better option than racking up a huge count of bodies and reducing your bride price in the process .

I also feel we should just stop asking the body count question when dating. Because people will just lie anyways. If you want to date her then date her or just keep it moving.

We will revisit this topic on another day but let me face Monday.



What If Eve is Adam’s Punishment

I think I will start this with the argument and banter that the “What Are You Bringing to The Table?” topic brought about on Twitter. It started when the Greyroom channel; our attempt at recreating Backchat in our style, on YouTube asked a question in relation to whether society was fair towards men. Two of the “panelists” said it was and went on talking about how men don’t really do anything while the females go to work and still come home to deal with household duties and all the extras. The discussion then moved on to who the head of the family is, etc. Continue reading “What If Eve is Adam’s Punishment”

Most Men Don’t Deserve Good Women

So I was having a conversation with someone ( lets call him Jack) so Jack told me how he thinks he could do better than his girlfriend (lets call her Jill)  of three years. You know that grass is always greener on the other side syndrome? Yes exactly!

Let me describe Jill for a moment by listing a few things she does for Jack.

  • Jill threw his birthday party this year
  • Jill was practically doing everything at his Sisters birthday celebration
  • Jill goes to his place to cook , clean and do laundry.
  • Jill is always suggesting things he could do to better himself . So it might be a business opportunity, a certification or a new job opportunity
  • Jill loves his family without reserve.
  • Jill is loyal and faithful (Insert DJ Khaled voice)

Let me stop here guys. These are just the things I know as an outsider. I bet Jill is probably giving him regular sex too! Acrobatics and all that.  So lets just say she is being the quintessential “Wife” before she becomes the Wife.

So y’all are wondering why is he looking for something else ? why does he think he can do better? Why does he think he is “settling” (his words) if he sticks with her? Beloved Its Ojukokoro plain and simple

I have a theory ladies and i’m pretty sure It’s important for you to read this carefully.

Never give a man the benefits of a Wife before he put’s a ring on your finger. What is going to be left for him to fight for? Men are driven by desire and I’m not saying women don’t have commensurate levels of desire but men are driven by it. What ever standards you set for your relationship if he is the real deal he will live up to them. Trust me. 

It’s only a man that has overcome the need to continually chase something  else out there that will see a good woman and not continually look for the proverbial green grass and that’s a small number of men we are talking about.

That’s why women who continually give the man something to chase are King. So sadly, Jack will always look for something out there even though he has good old Jill.

This is my theory guys.

However as they say ..It’s your Bed , you can lay on it as you wish.




The Entitlement Culture

It’s interesting how a thing like entitlement  has become a trend here in Nigeria. Back in the day it was street hustlers that held sway. How many times has a well dressed beggar walked up to you with an exact request and some “documentation” supporting that request? I know we get that every time right? Well guess what? It’s a growing trend on social media too. People are making bogus money requests online now.

Continue reading “The Entitlement Culture”

Love And Football

Football season is well underway and we usually notice how the attention of most Nigerian men become divided between their significant others and their favorite teams. This week B , OG and our guest this week Fatkat breakdown the dynamic between relationships and football and how it’s such a huge deal. Don’t forget to follow our social media handles @UTMTPodcast and join the conversation using the #UTMTPodcast.

Continue reading “Love And Football”

Love Isn’t For Kids

Hey guys, so this week’s poem is all about LOVE! haha…what isn’t about love, deep down?!

Anyway, for me, this speaks on the difference between love and infatuation or maybe lust and a crush. Pretty much when people label other emotions as love, when they really aren’t. And for a while you may feel love ain’t shit but in reality, when someone who is grown and aware LOVES you, the difference is clear…

Continue reading “Love Isn’t For Kids”