Prostitutes/Oloshos/Runs Girls (A Case Study In Marketing )

 

 

It’s funny how this video just helped me buttress this post I’ve been preparing for y’all.

See ehn sometimes I wish I could walk around with a recorder because the conversations I have sometimes (Lol). So just take this journey with me as I give you this thesis I have been working on in 400 words or less.

I was talking to a colleague the other day and I had an epiphany.What is the difference between Oloshos , Prostitutes and Run girls.

Just marketing beloved ,  just good old marketing? Let me break this down with some definitions.

Prostitutes:

This group get the lowest fees for their services and are the least mobile. But they have they highest turn over among the other two . You come to them they don’t come to you. Where are they located? In your neighborhood brothel.

Service fee – Ranges from anything 2,000 – 10,000 depending on the area and the customer.

Oloshos:

These group of women offer their services in a more subtle way. They are always found in a club , lounge etc etc. They could be the strippers in the clubs or even university school students.  The gag is that they even buy their own drinks in a bid to blend in with the partying crowd. How do you notice them? they might be in groups of two or threes and are always the most visible and seductive dancers in the club. Don’t be fooled beloved , the moment you walk up to them and strike up a conversation to take them home. Your going to be asked to pay a fee.

Service fee : 10,000 – 60,000. This literally depends of what area your operating from.

Runs Girls:

These set of people are more targeted and take the highest fee and the funny thing is that it’s a large pool of people in this category .your wife/girlfriend or your sister or even you reading this post. It could be anybody from any work of life. The clientele for this set of people are high value and usually dole out large amounts. They are the MVPs of the three classifications to be honest.

Service fee: 100,000 and above.

So you see guys the services are the same but the packaging is different. I hope I have succeeded in educating y’all. All in all sex is a booming business in Nigeria and sex will always sell with men (single and married) being the biggest patrons. It is not going to change anytime soon. Even though I never understood the concept of prostitutes , Oloshos and runs girls. The prospect of Inserting myself into a strange woman scares me.

Anyways , to each his own.

Whatever path you choose guys , Don’t get lost in the sauce!

 

 

 

The Theory Of Body Count Management

Ladies and gentlemen gather round we have important things to discuss.

Anybody heard about body count management?  Anybody ? I’m sure most guys will be clueless about this ( as always) and I know some of you women have discussed this and implemented this consciously or unconsciously.

Okay chill out , let me give you a definition.

Body count management  is the intricate process of keeping a small number of men on a regular sexual rotation . This is usually done to reduce the number of sexual partners to a small and concise number

There you go.

First of all I want to blame men for this. Y’all kiss and tell too damn much!  This is the same reason why sex toys are in high demand (All the pleasure and none of the hassle and gossip) I never understand why a grown man will have consensual sex with a woman and go to the high heavens to brag about it. Why on earth??

This is patriarchal society in play again.

Woman sleeps with ten guys and she is a hoe , while a man sleeps with the same number and he is a stud.

Sigh.

Back to the women though. I must applaud y’all for coming up with this. I mean this is elite thinking from y’all. Trust women to always be evolved and a step ahead of both genders.

So I hear single women get three or two guys they are comfortable with and stick to them when they want to have sex. Its like a sex rooster. So guys ,  when you feel she is coming back to you because your laying amazing pipe. I have sad news for you , your sex is not that great. She is managing her body count.  It’s an amazing concept to be honest.  Certainly a better option than racking up a huge count of bodies and reducing your bride price in the process .

I also feel we should just stop asking the body count question when dating. Because people will just lie anyways. If you want to date her then date her or just keep it moving.

We will revisit this topic on another day but let me face Monday.

 

 

Most Men Don’t Deserve Good Women

So I was having a conversation with someone ( lets call him Jack) so Jack told me how he thinks he could do better than his girlfriend (lets call her Jill)  of three years. You know that grass is always greener on the other side syndrome? Yes exactly!

Let me describe Jill for a moment by listing a few things she does for Jack.

  • Jill threw his birthday party this year
  • Jill was practically doing everything at his Sisters birthday celebration
  • Jill goes to his place to cook , clean and do laundry.
  • Jill is always suggesting things he could do to better himself . So it might be a business opportunity, a certification or a new job opportunity
  • Jill loves his family without reserve.
  • Jill is loyal and faithful (Insert DJ Khaled voice)

Let me stop here guys. These are just the things I know as an outsider. I bet Jill is probably giving him regular sex too! Acrobatics and all that.  So lets just say she is being the quintessential “Wife” before she becomes the Wife.

So y’all are wondering why is he looking for something else ? why does he think he can do better? Why does he think he is “settling” (his words) if he sticks with her? Beloved Its Ojukokoro plain and simple

I have a theory ladies and i’m pretty sure It’s important for you to read this carefully.

Never give a man the benefits of a Wife before he put’s a ring on your finger. What is going to be left for him to fight for? Men are driven by desire and I’m not saying women don’t have commensurate levels of desire but men are driven by it. What ever standards you set for your relationship if he is the real deal he will live up to them. Trust me. 

It’s only a man that has overcome the need to continually chase something  else out there that will see a good woman and not continually look for the proverbial green grass and that’s a small number of men we are talking about.

That’s why women who continually give the man something to chase are King. So sadly, Jack will always look for something out there even though he has good old Jill.

This is my theory guys.

However as they say ..It’s your Bed , you can lay on it as you wish.

 

 

 

Life Is A Constant Pursuit Of Orgasms…

The rains are back  after a welcome break in August and just clockwork  when it’s starts to rain everybody on social media is posting the words “weather for two” or “or I wish I was cuddling with someone in bed” etc etc.

Why do we always have to think about sex when it rains? Really though ? when there so much time we have to get a lot of things done?

By all means if you’re all “Boo’ed” up please knock yourself out. Don’t just knock her up or get knocked up if you’re not ready to start a family.

Wait guys , I just had an epiphany mid post. I kid you not.

****Hold on let me re-arrange my thoughts*****

Okay.

I think sex is over rated. I have never had this opinion before but I just thought about it. The act in itself isn’t over rated  I mean If you’re doing it right  and doing with the right person it can be magical.  But , for a lot of people its a lot of preparation and a lot of build up to something that just last for a fleeting moment in your day.

Let me break it down for both sexes.

Guys:

  • For some guys the extent of your grooming , wardrobe choices and what not are determinant on looking as presentable as possible to the opposite sex. Y’all are going to deny this but you know I’m writing truth.
  • For some guys enterprise and pursuits of money is largely dependent on the opposite sex.
  • Even social media activity. Y’all remember the post I did on dating sites ? Yeah most of the guys on there which was a ridiculously large percentage were definitely looking for sex. Take this to the bank.
  • Even all those dates and “tell me about yourself” and  “I really like you” is just an elaborate web woven to get her between the sheets. All this wahala for what? Sometimes the truth will set you free really.

Ladies:

  • Let’s not even front . All that make up and hair even wardrobe decisions are skewed towards looking good for yourself and ultimately for some guy to find you attractive. This will be denied to the high heavens but we all know this is true.
  • Looking beautiful for the ‘Gram. All those instagram filters have been kept busy because that social media persona must be kept in pristine condition.
  • Dieting and making sure your body is in good shape nko? All those meals that you have rejected . All for what ? Just to make sure someone finds you desirable. Too much wahala abeg.

I could go on and on guys I might be heckled after posting this but when you sit down and ponder your conscience will let you know I’m speaking raw truth.

Of course there are a lot of people that are ahead of the curve.

But trust me a lot of y’all are caught up in this rat race.  I’m watching you.

It’s Cool To Wait…

I’m going to make this as quick as possible! I hope it benefits at least one person.

BEING A VIRGIN ISN’T LAME!!! and BEING A VIRGIN ISN’T OVER RATED!!!

Clearly in this day and age, virginity isn’t something that is looked at as cool especially, since you don’t have that many people who talk about being virgins in the lime light. You find these people mainly in religious settings, so you have to search harder.

Continue reading “It’s Cool To Wait…”

Rigors Of The Online Dating Game

Dating is stress guys. Absolutely stress. Especially if you have a tough schedule. Picking the right partner who is not a witch or demon in disguise is the toughest thing ever.

Where and how people go about finding is not science so people try all sorts.

So I overheard a few people talking about Tinder app for Nigeria and thought to myself “It would be nice to check out all these dating sites and dating trends on all these social media pages. Trust me when I say this….It was like going into a huge rabbit hole.

Things are happening guys!!!

So I actually went and created profiles on a few dating sites under the pseudo name , (Please don’t laugh) “MickyBlueyes” (This investigative journalism mode that has taken over me won’t be the death of me I swear).

So here is the rundown.

1. Tinder

Beloved please if you happen to be looking for love please read this carefully , DO NOT GO ON TINDER! That place is not for the faint-hearted . Tinder is for sex like Uber is for transport.You swipe on a girl and her going fee is about Thirty Thousand (N30,000) for a night. Thirty Thousand? Maybe I’m a cheapskate but do you know how many internet monthly subscriptions that will get me?? It’s even more treacherous for girls because before you know  it the men you meet on there are asking for sex of the bat and sending you penis pictures. Everyone is brazen there. Not the way the app was intended to be used I’m sure but you know how Nigeria warps everything.

2. Mingle 2

Mingle 2 was a less scarring experience. But the first thing that hit me was the disclaimer as I was trying to sign up the app. ” DO NOT SEND MONEY TO ANY PERSON FOR ANY REASON . MINGLE 2 WILL NOT BE LIABLE FOR ANY FRAUD CASES THAT TRANSPIRE ON THE SITE”.  I guess a lot of guys and women have used the app to dupe women and men. But there were a lot of Nigerians there of all ages.I did a targeted search and looked for “women in Lagos  between the ages of 20 – 40” which yielded lots of results. Interesting stuff. Fortunately I didn’t stay long enough to strike conversations with anybody but Mingle was less Tinder-esque.

3. Badoo

Similar name with the cult that is currently ravaging Ikorodu but this is certainly not their dating site. Apparently Badoo has been around for a much longer time.However , it seems like it used to be the go to dating site for the much younger people. I cannot confirm whether its still a popular place to go to and i din’t have enough time to do exhaustive research but it was pretty popular some years back.

4. Insta Message / Twitter /LINKED IN / Facebook / Instagram :

I grouped all these social media apps together for a reason. We all know they weren’t traditionally designed for dating but that hasn’t stopped anybody has it? People are shooting their shot on a daily basis in all those places beloved! Its an amazing dating pool. It will shock you how many men and women are messaging each other even on Linked In. Yes Linked In! Linked In is unique because people are most likely to surrender their actual information on there. So you immediately know what you are getting in terms of social status , education and looks. Amazing stuff !! So while your looking for potential employees there are men that are looking for their mates on there. Twitter nko? Lets not be naive guys  , the number of marriages and relationships and sex that goes on there that comes out in the open is good enough indication to show whats going on in secret.  Facebook is the same thing also. People message everybody looking for a potential mate. Insta message and Instagram is the same. At least now we know why people are stunting for the Gram.

I could go on and on guys.

The thing is that looking for love online is only going to increase. Interaction in this decade will continue to increase online and decrease offline

All I can say is look and look again before you leap. Try not to be catfished , defrauded or even raped. There are lots of pervs and predators on there. But there are success stories don’t get me wrong. Lots of happy endings.

Like everything in life there are two sides to every coin.

 

Hey guys. Have you gone on a dating site before?  What was your experience like? Hit us up in the comments section lets find out the ones we missed on this post. 

 

 

Cheating Is So Much Stress Bruh!

I have cheated before. Lets just get that out of the way. Just want to keep it 100.

Can I continue? Okay then.

I think a large number of guys will agree with me that it’s the most unnatural thing in the world (If you’ve killed that conscience of yours then don’t bother reading this).

Sneaking around is so much stress! Like you have to be on your fucking toes, double checking that you’ve deleted incriminating text messages when you’re around your girl. All those clandestine calls, all the lies. The fleeting pleasure ain’t worth it man. Not at all.

The funny thing is that woman always know when shit ain’t right if she is paying attention. If she is not paying attention she has moved on emotionally don’t be surprised if she is already poisoning you slowly man. Check your tea.

Another thing, Guys if you’re not emotionally ready to commit. Don’t bring that woman into that potentially messy situation. It’s a train wreck waiting to happen.

One more thing. I firmly believe in the concept of the “Self destruct button” guys. Let me explain.

Have you ever been with a good woman, that “move mountains for you” kind of woman? Its so peaceful , so domestic, you start to think there’s something more out there? you start to think your situation is boring , that your missing out on all the action? That’s the self destruct button right there.  There’s not much out there to be honest. DON’T PRESS IT!

Messing up a good thing will never be worth it. Trust me homie.

Look at at that well rounded ass and look away.

When We Mix Gender Roles With Equality

So this weekend was eventful for a lot of reasons. We (B and I) got to be guests on another podcast called the Unusual Podcast (Y’all should check them out, really awesome podcast).

After wading through the murky rain flooded streets of Lekki 1  (Thankfully Stacy, my Jalopy, was up to the task) we finally got to the Sound City studios where the podcast was being recorded.

Was it worth it? ABSOLUTELY! Not just because we got to meet awesome people, but also because of the conversations that were had.

The Highlight of all these conversation was the true definition of “Gender roles” and “Feminism

*Cue outrage because a man is writing about Feminism*. Hold your horses!!! I’m going somewhere with this…

You know when you always hear guys say “If you women want to be feminists be feminists to the latter“.  This statement basically means most men feel feminist should be able to do what men do, for instance lift a very heavy object. Very wrong.

This is mixing Gender roles, which means Men and Women performing different roles and Feminism which basically means equal rights and opportunities for men and women.. Men are not higher thinking beings because they are men. But because they are built to be physically stronger they can do certain tasks that women wouldn’t do.

Physical not mental, people please remember that.

We don’t live in the dark ages anymore where human beings relied on strength to get ahead in life.

So, because I want to be selfless I took the liberty to list a few do and don’ts for Y’all.

  • If you hit a woman in traffic, don’t ask for her husband or father or the man in her life. It’s wrong on many levels.
  • Don’t think a woman should not have a lot of money because she won’t find a man to marry
  • Don’t be prejudiced to think all females drivers are horrible drivers.
  • Please don’t objectify every woman you encounter or even work with.
  • Don’t shake men in a room first before you shake women. I don’t understand how a man’s hand is more valuable.
  • Waiters, when you pick up your bill don’t immediately assume the man paid because he is a man. so wrong!

I can go on and on. But we get the gist right?

Please lets behave.

And because i’m a really nice guy, here’s the episode of the podcast beloved!