How To Survive The Lagos Floods

It’s been raining relentlessly in Lagos for a week now and quite frankly I’m really tired. Every single day you have to hatch an effective strategy to navigate the Lagos metropolis.


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It’s like a difficult math problem I tell you.

Any one who knows Lagos – Nigeria already knows how such a difficult place it can be without the rains…but with the rains  this “mega city”  *Insert sarcastic laugh here* is another monster all together.

So guys I have bad news and good news…Which one would you like to hear first?

Okay…The bad news is that most of the Lagos metropolis is flooded. Especially the Victoria Island – Lekki – Epe axis. Its an absolute mess.

But as I said there is good news. Lagos can finally be like the city of Venice! One of the most romantic cities in the world!

On a serious note given our current “floody” circumstances we need new strategy. How do we survive in these water logged circumstances?


  1. Y’all are going to need one of these…


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I’m not joking guys. Your car will be useless to you right now. Even if you’ve got a monster truck! I love Nigerians  and the few proactive ones have taken initiative. Trust me it is the most important investment you will make today.

2. Take Swimming Lessons

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See ehn, your swimming prowess is the next best thing right now that will help you in these perilous times and if you don’t know how to swim then I don’t know what to say to you.

3. Turn Off Your Power At The Mains!

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If you’re lucky enough to have electricity at this moment and there is water in your apartments please switch the power off! Electric shock is real! Turn off power till your house is completely dry beloved.

4. Rubber is far better than Leather right now!


This is so important especially on your commute to work everyday. Discard those heels and leather shoes guys! Rubber is King now!

5. Pack an extra pair of clothes

Do you want to be walking around in wet clothes throughout the day? Trust me it’s as uncomfortable as can be! So here is the hack. Pack an extra pair of clothes and a small towel to wipe yourself dry as well.

Guys, desperate times call for desperate measures you  can thank me later.

Kaido vs the World: Episode 2 & 3

Hola! Cómo estás?! Those are the first few things you learn when you wanna start speaking Spanish. I’m gradually starting to learn the language, especially because of all the gossip that fly over my head. Probably because I feel they’re talking about us or some other shii like that. But let’s leave the paranoia for another day. It’s a double episode guys *crowd screams*. I know, I know…exciting stuff. In that case, *strikes an Elijah pose* Gentlemen, shall we?

Continue reading “Kaido vs the World: Episode 2 & 3”

Kaido vs The World: Episode 1

*in Charlie Puth’s voice* it’s been a long week, I can’t even lie. And I don’t know where I’ll start from on this episode *song end*. Remix by yours truly. Honestly though, I don’t even know where to begin. It’s been a LOONNNGGGG 7 days. I didn’t even know it was possible for a week to feel this long. New experiences all around. It’s gonna be a long one, so grab your popcorn or drink or anything and read on. Are you ready for this?

Continue reading “Kaido vs The World: Episode 1”

We Are Tired Of Nigerian Time

Nigerians are the most badly behaved people on earth to be honest.

Hear me out I’m going somewhere with this..

Nigerians were not satisfied with African time we  just had to create our version “Nigerian Time“.  Why Isn’t there Ghanaian time or even South African time?

Most times I would really like to get to a venue at 4pm if the time slot was 4pm. For real no joke. I know how many times I have kept to time and I have seemed to have gotten there too early because of “Nigerian time“. Nowadays any Nigerian that keeps to time is looked at like a unicorn.

All that posturing and deliberate late coming to act “Nigerian” is just complete bad behavior.

Here’s a funny thing I noticed ,people now set times for events much earlier than the actual time to counteract the “Nigerian time” disease. Yes! Its a disease!

Let me tell you a funny story.

So a friend of mine had his naming ceremony recently. Time slot was 1pm.

Mr Oga started 1pm prompt and finished up in due time. I kid you not but the event management people were already cleaning up the venue and packing up when a lot of guests just started arriving. You can imagine their shock when there wasn’t a drop of Jollof rice in sight!

People of God, we have a disease worse than Ebola and Meningitis on our hands!!

The funny thing is that when Nigerians are abroad we keep to time like our lives depends on it. So Its just when we are on these shores that we act like this.

How do we solve this “Nigerian Time” problem?

I guess there could be a social studies course in school called “Punctuality”  which i think could help the younger kids.

But If you’re older and always tardy… There’s no hope for you beloved.

I Can’t Win…

Weekends are meant to rejuvenate your mind and body, right? Apparently I missed the memo! I feel like after most weekends, I still feel drained (there’s a good possibility i’m exaggerating but yeah, whatever).

I spend most of my weekends pretty much just relaxing and doing regular things, I don’t have crazy weekends anymore (well, they are probably few and far between right now and I like it that way).

Continue reading “I Can’t Win…”